All superheroes have enemies that work tirelessly to stop them from performing their acts of greatness. We, as human beings, are no different. If we aren’t careful, there are plenty of villains that will try to sneak into our lives to steal our greatness when we aren’t paying attention and keep us from all that we are destined to be. Meet and learn how to defeat our first villain, Not Me Lee.

While staring back at myself while brushing my teeth, I read the affirmations I had taped to the bathroom mirror just the day before. “I am whole. I am perfect. I am strong. I am powerful.” And the list went on. That was fabulous, until I left the bathroom to walk around the house, only to see a complete mess, the culmination of what seemed like a lifetime’s worth of mistakes. I never realized you could memorialize your mistakes, but I had managed to do exactly that. My mistakes were like photographs, etched into my mind to remind me what a failure I was. Looking around the room, I wondered what it was going to take to permanently erase the negatives I had so cleverly stored in my mind and start anew. Whatever it was going to take, I felt certain it would mean some work on my part. But I was so great at having an alibi for my life. “I’m not doing it; it’s not my responsibility; it’s not my fault; it’s not my job! Not me, not me, not me!” I walked back into the bathroom and was shocked at what I saw: staring back at me in the bathroom mirror was the only person who could do the work required to change my life: me!

Anybody with a credit card balance knows that if you make the minimum payment, you will waste a lot of time and spend a lot of money, but accomplish virtually nothing. The same can be said for your life. Invest the minimum time and effort into your life and you will accomplish nothing. Not to mention, like begets like, so if you don’t have the desire ‘n action (DNA) to help yourself, don’t expect assistance from anyone else to magically show up along the way. No book, motivational speaker, teacher, or class can make your life better without you as a consistent and willing participant. So let’s get to work.

The first thing you need to understand is that just because you can’t see evidence of your greatness in your outer life, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist inside of you. So often because we don’t know it is there and have no clue how to access it, we sit idle, doing nothing to help it emerge.  We wait and we pray, then pray and wait for things to get better some more. Most of us want our lives to get better, i.e., give me some more of that green stuff to pay my bills with, but we don’t understand the work required. “Not me! I’m not doing it! Not me! It’s not my job!” Then we get crabby crappy about the results we didn’t get from the work we didn’t do, making matters worse!

Every day we wake up and everything in our bodies is different, but one thing should always remain the same: your commitment to yourself to always do your personal best. Think about it: would you really wake up and say, “I think I will do less than my best today,” but often that is exactly what we do. Perhaps you don’t want to go the extra mile because you have been burned in the past. You went the extra mile at work and somebody else took the credit so now you do barely the amount of work required to get by. Do that long enough and you will be living in the dreadful world of maximum mediocrity. Things won’t be good enough to get better and won’t be bad enough to end. Talk about suffering! Of course there is another consequence in that mediocrity will kill any chance of advancement. You will also never reach great heights of success if you only perform at high levels when others are watching. You never do your personal best for anyone but yourself. Knowing that you have maximized your potential and made the most of all your capabilities is a gift everyday.

This week, discipline yourself to always do your personal best. Otherwise, you will never know what you can do this lifetime and will miss out on all you were destined to be. Defeat “Not Me Lee,” and rid yourself of the “it’s not my job” attitude and insert “Yes Me, I’ll give it my best.” At the end of the day, the measurement of accountability to determine whether or not you did your personal best belongs only to you. Before you close your eyes at night, ask yourself, “Did I do my personal best?” If yes, give yourself a hug and drift off to sleep. If no, then figure out why and what to do differently tomorrow. Nobody can ever hold you accountable for doing your personal best, because your personal best changes every day based on the circumstances that surround you. Just like you don’t want anybody telling you whether or not you did your personal best, you should never judge anyone else. From the White House to the crack house, you never know what is going on in someone’s life and for certain, it’s never as it seems. Do the absolute best possible while taking into consideration the circumstances you are in. However, don’t let your circumstances be the excuse for doing anything less than your best.

At the end of each day, I hope you are serious about finding your greatness, because finding your greatness isn’t just about you. It is about those of us whom will be the recipient of what your greatness has to offer the world. You have a responsibility to yourself and to this planet to find your gifts and to share them with others. Come back next week for Part 3 of the 11 part series — You Are Your Own Kryptonite: How To Find Your Superhero DNA — where we will meet our next villain, Toxic Ted.

{ 1 comment }

Wouldn’t it be nice if at the moment of your arrival on this planet, you received an instructional manual about how to make the most of a bad situation, just on the off chance you got yourself into one or maybe even two? I sure could have used that manual. Ten painful years of crawling through broken glass because of my addiction left my life littered with health problems, wealth problems and relationship problems just to name a few. What was a drunk and damaged girl like me supposed to do? Realizing I was at the end of my rope, on July 28, 1986, I picked myself up out of the rubble known as my life. Only problem was that there wasn’t enough rope left to hang myself – I couldn’t even get that right! Disappointed by my lies, deceits and failed promises, everyone had deserted me, so nobody was around to save me from the disaster I had created. Now I would have to depend on myself. For more than ten years, I had depended on my bottle of vodka a day to get me through but it was time to grow up and take responsibility for my life, whatever that meant. But what could I do? After all, if you looked up Wendy Kormos in the Webster Dictionary, the definition said “World’s Biggest Loser”.

The best part about being a perceived loser by everyone is you have nothing to lose. We don’t always know it at the time, but sometimes being at the end of your rope is the best place to be. With no money, no resources, no nothin’ – the only option left was to dig down deep inside of myself to see if I could find the strength to somehow change my choices, so that I could change my life. It seemed to me that I had 2 possible choices in the midst of the chaos I had single-handedly created: find the strength to fight or shrink back into the darkness and despair and choose flight. It was just that simple. I was either going to fight for any shreds of greatness that may be buried in me so that I could change my circumstances or, if that was too tough, choose flight and bury myself back in that bottle of vodka, which was the only real companion I had.

I certainly wasn’t going to become a rising star overnight and despite all odds that I would amount to anything this lifetime, I made a conscious decision to fight: To choose success for my life. Fairly certain everyone who knew me would laugh at this notion, I told no one. I didn’t need anyone secretly (or openly for that matter) plotting against me. With each new day of sobriety, another brain cell came back to life and I realized that I was going to have to depend on “self-help” because I didn’t have any money to spend on help from anyone else. As a child, I was a very creative straight A student until I washed it all away with the booze. Maybe, just maybe, buried inside of me that creativity and greatness that hadn’t been seen for more than a decade was still there, waiting to be rediscovered. Maybe greatness didn’t evaporate just because of a string of bad choices. What if those strands of greatness that ran through my entire body, allowing me to achieve anything and everything I wanted in my life, were still there? Probably not but since pretending was the only option available, my morning mantra was born and taped to the bathroom mirror: I am whole. I am perfect. I am strong. I am powerful. I am loving. I am harmonious. I am happy. I am healthy. I am productive. I am prosperous. So what if it appeared to be pure fiction at that moment. There was no scientific test to measure if I had greatness in me so I made a choice to believe that it was there, wherever there was. Just because you couldn’t see my greatness, didn’t mean that it didn’t exist. After all, you couldn’t see the gene that had given me my beautiful blue eyes, but it was there. All I had to do was find my lost greatness. Step by step, the detective work began. I didn’t have much to work with except for a little desire and action, which, as it turned out, was enough. And fortunately, desire and action were free, because I was broke.

To the rest of the world I looked like a less than average, somewhat ordinary person. But I quickly learned that it is often what you can’t see that determines who you really are. I knew I had some hidden greatness and I was not only determined to find it, but stop anyone else who would try and convince me it wasn’t there. I needed to build up my strength so I could defeat the enemies of daily life and become all I was destined to be. The truth is, you never know how strong you are until strong is the only remaining choice you have. With ten years of ugliness behind me, I used everything I learned on the streets to move my life forward. No obstacle I ran into was as difficult as the time I spent mired in my addiction. End result: my personal life and professional life are more than I ever dreamed of as a child. But how did you do it Wendy? With one foot in a grave, how did you make such a fabulous comeback? Join me next week for Part 2 of my 10 part series – You Are Your Own Kryptonite – Why making minimum payment into your life gets you nowhere.


Wendywoman Gets Recharged…

January 25, 2013

The New Year brings an opportunity for most people to review their current circumstances and consider making some different choices.  For many, the recent holidays exacerbated the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not enough money.  Too much chaos.  Not enough time alone.  Too much time together. Look through the wrong lens and even a minuscule event becomes humongous [...]

Read the full article →

Wendywoman Serves up Gratitude…

November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving is my favorite time of year because people seem to make a conscious effort to incorporate gratitude into their daily life.  With hope and faith as my wing-men  gratitude is at the center of my life and hopefully it is for you, too.  Learning to appreciate all circumstances for the lessons they bring – good [...]

Read the full article →

Do You Ever Feel Like You Don’t Understand?

November 14, 2012

Suffice it to say that from the White House to the crack house, you never really know what is going on in someone’s life and for certain, things are never what they seem. When’s the last time someone let you borrow their shoes so that you could feel the pain associated with walking in them?  [...]

Read the full article →