I sat waiting for the meeting to start when I realized I was sick to my stomach. What the heck? Why was I so nervous? I had done everything possible to prepare for the upcoming event, but my fear was quickly becoming a barrier that would cause me to miss out on this rewarding, life-changing experience if I didn’t manage it right away. Afraid, Who me?
Meanwhile at Fubar
Frantic Phoebe loved using NO NO NO to manage her fear so she could ignore the ups and downs of life. Wendywoman taught her to confront her trepidation head on, so she could coast through fear because few scary scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters we manage to create in our minds.
What can you do?
What is it about some situations and activities that frighten some people but don’t even cause others to flinch? After all, the situations are the same; however, fear becomes the variable that changes the equation. When you plant negative thoughts and emotions about what might go wrong, it is amazing how quickly those itty bitty seeds of anxiety can sprout into such an alarm that it manifests itself physically and before you know it, you are paralyzed.
Hard to tell what is worse: all the crazy thoughts we conjure up in our minds about what might happen or living through something when itactually happens. More often than not, the trepidation leading up to an event turns out to be worse than the event itself. It took me a long time to figure out that we never know how strong we are until strong is the only choice we have. Most of the time, coasting through fear helps us discover our real strength. I’ll never forget the first time that I was forced to do a speech for a large audience after winning a sales award. What did I know about creating and delivering a meaningful message; but just taking part in that activity and asserting myself when the odds seemed to be against me, allowed me to emerge relatively unscathed on the other side. And, by conquering something that frightened me beyond belief, it has led to some great blessings, as I now spend a good amount of time delivering inspirational speeches, which is very rewarding. Coasting through your fear requires that you take a few risks, sprinkled with practice and patience. Since it is often challenging to act when you are in the stronghold of fear, start small. With every step you take – every time you are willing to stare fear in the face – you’ll gain strength and learn how to confront future fears with confidence.
A challenge to my blog readers…
Instead of developing those negative, dark thoughts, flip on the light switch and shed some light on those nagging, paralyzing fears. When you do, don’t empower them, don’t feed them and don’t let them build a dark room in your mind. Develop an action plan on how you are going to overcome your fear one step at a time. On a daily basis, be diligent to address your fears and work to overcome them at your own speed. I’m not saying you need to tackle them like a linebacker but bring them out into the open and show them they have no more power over you. Your due diligence will pay off! Send me an e-mail atwendywoman@wendywoman.com or catch me on Facebook (Wendywoman) to let me know how you are doing.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post Wendy. Tapping into a strength that you possess is another way to overcome a fear. When faced with uncertain territory always think about what you do well, and how you could use what you do well to navigate your way to a safe place.
Great comment Kurt. Utilizing a strength to mitigate your fear is a great strategy.
So happy you overcame your fear…but relieved to know that even superheroes have struggles!
Still working on all those fears.
Amazing how WendyWoman has perfect timing for just the right message for my challenges at work. This week hit home as I was opearting from a place of fear of a new senior leader that joined our company. Your inspiring words made me realize to embrace the change that this new leader can bring vs. fearing the unknown or false misconception. You’re a rare leader who inspires us to be our personal best. You need to write another book called the art of lost leaders.
Lynn always remember to view events through the lens of “everything happens for the greater good of all involved.” The new senior leader may be exactly what the organization needs, even if the arrival is a bit scary.
In the right situations, fear smells like methane, if you know what I mean. Mmmm! Keep that fear coming!
I don’t really feel like it is my responsibility to tackle my fears. I think the world should become less scary. Why should I have to accommodate the scary things of the world? I didn’t make it that way!
I fear nothing. Fear is for losers, like Lame-o Leo. Did you hear that, Leo? I called you a loser! Hahaha!
Marcia is right, I AM a loser! How can a loser like me ever conquer my fears? You know, my biggest fear is Maniacal Mean Marcia! But don’t tell her I said that! She might get meaner!
Great segment Wendy, tackling those fears, and really examining what might really be going on has to be done with a sense of calm, and that’s sometimes a struggle when your in the forest of fear.
Taking some time to breathe some fresh outside air, and gaining that peace back to see what wonderful adventure the universe has for me today allows me to put those fears in a new perspective. Knowing that all is happening for the best for all involved is a huge relief from me trying to fix it all.Thanks Wendy
Wendy you rock! You have succinctly illustrated the fear I experience every day before every meeting. Although I know what I’m talking about in the meeting, my misbehaving brain compels me to be horrified until the meeting begins. I wish I could turn it off, and appreciate you for helping me remember that I’m not the only one freaking out before meetings.